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Thirty common self-destructive patterns (such
as arrogance, lying, pornography, and wasting time and suggested verses
most helpful for someone battling each vice. Additionally, we have
identified a story from Scripture illustrating a biblical character’s
struggle with each sin.
(Click below on
topic you would like read)
(For details see descriptions, Bible verses and
Biblical examples below)
1. Abusive Behaviors
You probably remember the kid in your
neighborhood who consistently showed up for school
bruised and trying to hide a black eye. Unfortunately, kids aren’t the only
victims of abusive behavior—look around and you’ll see abused spouses,
abused elderly parents, abused people of all ages and backgrounds. But
people are made in God’s image…and how we treat them
shows what we think of God.
Ø
As for the deeds of men—by the word of
your lips I have kept myself from the ways of the violent (Psalm 17:4).
Ø Do
not envy a violent man or choose any of his ways, for the Lord detests a
perverse man but takes the upright into his confidence (Proverbs 3:31-32).
Ø Even
though I was once a blasphemer and persecutor and a violent man, I was
shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief….Here is a
trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into
the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst (1 Timothy 1:13, 15).
Ø Since
an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless—not overbearing,
not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not
violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable,
one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and
disciplined (Titus 1: 7-8).
Example: 2 Samuel 13:1-22 (top)
2. Addictions
Just one more puff on the cigarette. Just one more
bet on the horses. Just one last drink before you go.
Just one more game at the casino. Just one more, just one more, just one
more. But it’s never just one more. You’re hooked, addicted, a slave to
something you thought you could control. By now you know you were wrong.
And it’s time you did something about it—before you’re dead wrong.
Ø Do
not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but
rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death
to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of
righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under
law, but under grace (Romans
6:12-14).
Ø Therefore,
I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as
living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of
worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God’s will is—his good pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:1-2).
Ø Do
you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you,
whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a
price. Therefore, honor God with your body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Ø Do
not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with
the spirit (Ephesians
5: 18).
Examples: Philippians 3:18-21;
Proverbs 23:29-32. (top)
3. Arrogance
If there’s one self-destructive pattern we
detest in others but rarely detect in ourselves, it’s this one. We think we’re
merely reporting the facts; others call it boasting. We believe we carry
ourselves with dignity; others think we’re haughty. We consider ourselves
confident; others label us cocky. If it’s true that arrogance is what
transformed a glorious angel into Satan, what makes us think it won’t
affect us as well?
Ø Before
his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor (Proverbs 18:12).
Ø Let
another praise you, and not your own mouth;
someone else, and not your own lips (Proverbs
27:2).
Ø This
is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the
strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but
let him who boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am
the Lord, who exercised kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for
in these I delight,” declares the Lord (Jeremiah 9:23-24).
Ø Young
men, in the same way be submissive to those who
are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with
humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives
grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty
hand, that he may lift you up in due time (1 Peter 5:5-6).
Example: James 4:13-16 (top)
4. Breaking
Promises
His promise is as good as gold”—you don’t hear
that phrase much today, do you? We live in a world where broken promises
are as common as weeds (and just as destructive). God says that when we
give our word, we are to keep it. How are you doing on this score?
Ø
When a man makes a vow to the Lord or
takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he
must not break his word but must do everything he said
(Numbers 30:2).
Ø If
you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the Lord
your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of
sin….Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your
vow freely to the Lord your God with your own mouth (Deuteronomy 23:21, 23).
Ø Lord,
who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose
walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from
his heart…who keeps his oath even when it hurts (Psalm 15:1-2, 4).
Ø It
is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your
mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest…“My vow was a mistake.” Why
should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? (Ecclesiastes 5:5-6).
Example: Nehemiah
5:1-13. (Top)
5. Critical
Spirit
The boss can’t do anything right. The pastor
smiles too much. The salesperson’s cologne reeks. The choir always sings
off-key. The mail deliverer, the cashier, the typist, the mayor, the
reporter, you name it—they’re all incompetent. Hear yourself in any of
these comments? If so, you’ve got an ugly case of Critical Spirit, and the
Chief Physician has just the medicine for you.
Ø With
his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the
righteous escapes (Proverbs
11:9).
Ø “Do
not judge, or you to will be judged. For in the same way you judge others,
you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to
you” (Matthew 7:1-2).
Ø Therefore
let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not
to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way….Let us
therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual
edification (Romans 14:13,
19).
Ø The
entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as
yourself.” If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you
will be destroyed by each other (Galatians
5:14-15).
Ø Do
everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless
and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved
generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe (Philippians 2:14-15).
Examples: 1 Corinthians 10:23-33;
Matthew 7: 3-5. (top)
6. Dishonesty
Maybe it’s those two-hour lunches that have been
nagging at your conscience. Or perhaps it’s the car you sold “in excellent
condition” that you knew was about to pump its last piston. Or might the
reason for your sleeplessness have something to do with not reporting that
$2,000 bonus on last year’s income tax return? Whatever “it” is, you know
it’s dishonest and you want to change. With God’s help, you can.
Ø No
one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely
will stand in my presence (Psalm
101:7).
Ø Like
a partridge that hatches eggs it did not lay is the man who gains riches by
unjust means. When his life is half gone, they will desert him, and in the
end he will prove to be a fool (Jeremiah
17:11).
Ø ‘Woe to him who piles up stolen goods and makes
himself wealthy by extortion! How long must this go on?’ Will not your
debtors suddenly arise? Will they not wake up and make you tremble? Then
you will become their victim” (Habakkuk
2:6b-7).
Ø Therefore,
rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander
of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by
it you may grow up in your salvation… (1
Peter 2: 1-2).
Ø Live
such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing
wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us
(1 Peter 2:12).
Example: Acts 5:1-11. (top)
7. Disrespect
for Authority
In a society where police officers are called
“pigs” and politicians “jerks” and preachers “parasites,” it’s not hard to
understand how disrespect for authority grows out of control. The sad truth
is, however, that even Christians occasionally forget the Bible’s
instructions to honor those in authority—parents, employers, public
officials—even when their actions are sometimes irritating.
Ø Everyone
must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority
except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been
established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is
rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring
judgment on themselves (Romans
13:1-2).
Ø Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and
mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well
with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Ø Now
we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are
over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard
in love because of their work (1
Thessalonians 5:12-13).
Ø Obey
your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men
who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a
burden, for that would be of no advantage to you (Hebrews 13:17).
Example: Numbers 16:1-50. (top)
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8. Gossip
“Oh, you’ll never
believe what happened to Cheryl last night…” “You mean you didn’t hear
about Dave? Well, get a load of this…” Gossip. Poisoned tongues. Spreading
rumors without first checking the facts. To be sure, we don’t usually admit
that we’re gossiping. More often we claim we’re just “sharing” or “making a
prayer request.” But that doesn’t change God’s attitude about it. He hates
it.
Ø There
are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty
eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises
wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who
pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers (Proverbs 6:16-19).
Ø A
perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends (Proverbs 16:28).
Ø Without
wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to
embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s
inmost parts (Proverbs
26:20-22).
Ø If
anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on
his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless (James 1:26).
Example: 3 John 9-11. (top)
9. Holding a
Grudge
It may have been years
since Heather made that cutting remark about your weight at the office
Christmas party, but you haven’t forgotten. You’ve forgiven her, of
course—Jesus said we had to—but you’re not about to forget! And as your
bitterness grows, your spirit shrinks. Before you know it, there’s no “you”
left at all…just a dry, cracked shell that answers whenever your name is
called.
Ø “Do
not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your
neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord” (Leviticus
19:18).
Ø Love
is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with the truth (1
Corinthians 13:4-6).
Ø Bear
with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).
Ø Finally,
all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as
brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or
insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so
that you may inherit a blessing (1
Peter 3:8-9).
Ø See
to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up
to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews
12:15).
Example: Genesis 27:1-45. (Top)
10. Illicit Sex
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